Making Peace with Your Past

What Is a Dysfunctional Family?

A dysfunctional family is one where improper and immature behavior of at least one parent damages the growth of individuality and healthy relational skills among family members.
A dysfunctional family is one where family members are impaired emotionally, psychologically and spiritually.
A dysfunctional family is one where everyone is negatively affected even when only one family member experiences a problem.

“He who brings trouble on his family will inherit only wind,
and the fool will be servant to the wise.” (Proverbs 11:29)

What Is a Functional Family?

A functional family is one where proper and mature behavior of two parents cultivates a healthy balance between individuality and relational skills among family members.
A functional family is one where healthy emotional, psychological and spiritual growth is cultivated among family members.
A functional family is one where, as family members encounter problems, they cultivate the ability to face difficulty with confidence and the support of other family members.

“He who fears the Lord has a secure fortress,
and for his children it will be a refuge.” (Proverbs 14:26)

Question:
“I grew up in a messed up family, and I am now repeating many patterns from the past. What should I do?”

Answer:
Identify which patterns need to be changed, then focus on several action steps that will enable you to move toward emotional health and healing. Tell the Lord and those closest to you that you want to give up unhealthy, childish patterns, and ask them to help hold you accountable.

“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me” (1 Corinthians 13:11). “Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching” (Proverbs 1:8).