I grew up just like many of you probably did—watching princess movies and reading fairy tales. From a young age, I quickly formed this idea that romance and marriage were the essence of a happily ever after.
And they lived happily ever after . . .
That’s how every movie ended. If riding off into the sunset with your prince charming was the essence of happy ever after, I sure wanted that!
Fast forward about twenty-five years, and I’m a now a new bride married to my best friend and the man of my dreams. Although I have a pretty incredible husband, I’ve learned a few crucial things about marriage during this new season of my life.
Marriage won’t make all of our dreams come true.
I know that sounds basic, and it’s probably a statement you’d acknowledge as true. But I seriously think that’s how so many singles (me included!) hope marriage will feel. We believe a husband will make us the happiest woman on earth and that our romantic dreams will come true. And we even think our flaws and sin will just disappear, and we will magically transform into perfect women and saintly wives.
If that’s the case, then . . .
- Why are so many marriages crumbling?
- Why are so many young couples experiencing such disillusionment?
- Why are husbands and wives looking to other people and other things to bring them happiness?
- Why do addictions and struggles continue after the altar?
I’ve realized that Satan is the king of the greener-grass syndrome.
Our enemy loves for us to believe lies (John 8:44). Single women are desperate for a relationship, believing it will finally satisfy them (a lie). Then we become discontent, ungrateful, and depressed about our current season of life, believing God isn’t really good to us now (another lie).
On the flip side, he does the same thing to married women! He wants them questioning their decision of who they married, and he wants them longing for the “freedom” and “flexibility” of their single days.
Instead of embracing these candy-coated lies, we need to reject them.
We need to look at our own hearts and see them as they truly are—sinful and naturally wandering away from God. And instead of longing for the “greener grass” on the other side of the fence, we must cultivate hearts that are content in God and grateful for our current season.
We need to believe that God is a good God (Mark 10:18; Ps. 31:19, 34:8, 84:11).
He can be trusted. He can satisfy us, no matter our circumstances. He can give us the biblical truths we need to be godly women now and in the future. He can give you the strength you need to love your husband (if you’re married) even when it’s hard. He can give you the courage to sacrifice, forgive, and show true Christ-like humility to those around you.
Instead of waiting for your season of life to change in order to truly live, begin living right now!
There are no guarantees you will ever reach that next season of life. There are no guarantees you will even be here tomorrow. The reality of our lives is this: We only have the day God has given us!
Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me (Phil. 4:11–13).
Let’s pause and evaluate our hearts. Ask yourself these two questions:
- Have I been buying into the greener-grass lie?
- Do I think a change of season or circumstance is the answer to my happiness?
Don’t wait around for things to change.
Begin learning and growing and thriving right now! Right where God has you. It’s totally possible to thrive to the fullest whether single or married.
If you’re waiting for marriage to make all of your dreams come true, the tough truth is this: You will be sorely disappointed. Don’t rely on a human to do what only God can do!
Look to Christ for your full satisfaction now and in the future. For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things (Ps. 107:9).
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