Winning our husbands over without a word

Welcome to treasures in the storm. I’m Cindy sh Midler and today we’re gonna be talking about winning our husbands over without a word. That’s a difficult thing to even a concept except to even grasp around our minds. But with God, all things are possible, right? So get your bible, your pen and paper cup of coffee and sit down and let us dig in because we want, we want to be able to do that. We want the best way and God has laid it out for us. This is the best way. This is the way to the greatest happiness, greatest lightheartedness, the most freedom in your marriage. And so not easy. God. Again, God tells us it’s not gonna be easy, but it’s so worth it to follow me. Don’t follow the way of the world. Follow me and we want to follow the way of our flash, right? Because our flesh fights against the spirit. The bible says we want to fight um against that so that we can be in the spirit and do the things that the spirit wants us to do. And so I’m gonna pray for us. We’re gonna dig into the scriptures and I will share some stories with you again. So Lord, God, we just come before you together like Lord in this difficult passage of scripture that you have given us Lord because you know what’s best for us and we want that. We just can’t see always Lord the best way to what you want for us. And so will you give us eyes to see, ears to hear and hearts to receive what you have for us today Lord because in the end your goal and our goal are the same. The angle is happiness, Happiness in our life and in our marriage Lord, it comes through you. It comes through walking with you and talking with you and walking rightly with you Lord. We know that it just doesn’t make sense to us. So we need your help today Lord. So help us God to bow our heads. May this be for my viewers one of the most encouraging messages they have heard Lord, will you do that for them? Lord only you can do that and we’re gonna trust you father. Trust you as if it’s already done like you tell us claim it as if it’s already done and so we trust you in jesus name. So I again, I want to start with one of my favorite verses proverbs 35 and six, But I’m actually going to go to verse nine and if you can memorize it it will benefit you so much just to be able to soak it into your soul. I think to myself, if if I had no other scriptures ever. None, but I had these, this would be enough. I had a gal in my church. She was in her eighties and you always want to get around people who walk with the Lord and our older because they have gray hairs of wisdom and she had beautiful gray hair is gorgeous. Gray hairs of wisdom and what she told me is she goes Cindy I take 1 1st a year now. Think about that one verse in a whole year is what she does. And I thought oh my gosh, how can she do that? But then I started thinking about this proverbs three through 935 through nine. And I thought wow, if I had that every day and I would get up in the morning and I would put that on and I would live it out all day. I would be a different human being. That’s why this is one of my life versus Proverbs 3 5- nine. Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding in all of your ways, acknowledge him. He will make your path straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes, Fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring, I call it dessert. This will bring health to your body and healing to your bones. So what we have to do, we have to be believing this and how do we do that? Well, first we put it on and we ask the Lord to give it to us to help us to believe these verses to trust in him and lean not on our own reasoning to acknowledge him, he’s gonna make the path straight. Don’t be wise in my own eyes, Cindy think I know what I’m doing Ive did that. How well did that go for her? Don’t be doing that Cindy because he wants to get he wants to, If I’m wise in my own eyes, I’m not fearing him. I’m not trusting him. I think I have the best way, don’t I? And I want that dessert. He wants to give me that healing health to my body and healing to my bones. Oh, do I want that? And so that’s put that on. And if you are one who is really struggling in your marriage right now, I want to encourage you to hang on, hang on, stay with me as we go through this. Let’s just bow our heads that we’re going to trust him. I know we like to think the grass is greener, but God has promised in his word. You know, he hates divorce. He does not want us to be separated. And so let’s step in and instead of stepping out, we think if we can escape that things will be better. And my friend, I’m telling you the bible is so full of so many scriptures, it isn’t better outside of his will. It’s only better inside of his will because he has to make it better. You don’t make it better and he created you for a purpose. He created you for a plan of his and oh how he loves you. And so We’re going to first Peter. Chapter three is our passage and I’ve I’m doing the Lord put on my heart to do this particular passage and I’m thinking about all those people who may be on their last legs, in frustration in their marriage. And I’m saying, please grab ahold of this now, please. So first peter 31 through six. And I’m looking in proverbs, so that’s not gonna help us. First Peter 31 through six. Ready wives in the same way. Okay, let’s stop right there in the same way. What way is that? Well, we have to go back. We gotta go to the verses before if it talks about the same way and it says In Chapter two versus let’s start in 20. Okay. Oh, I could start earlier, But we’re gonna start in 20. But how is it? To your credit? If you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it. But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it. This is commendable before God. So sometimes we’re gonna suffer in our lives and if we suffer for doing good, doing righteous doing the right thing. It’s commendable before God. That’s just so upside down, isn’t it? To this verse 21 to this you were called because Christ suffered for you leaving you an example that you should follow in his steps. Okay? So he wants us to trust him. And no he suffered. We can deal with suffering hard is hard. It’s not bad. It’s just hard and I’m not saying that you let um your husband mistreat you. I’m not saying that at all, I’m saying we have to get what I call our big girl pants on and we have to trust them enough because this is more than um us feeling good, this is more than us wanting what we want. You know, we are a picture. Our marriages are a picture of christ and the church and God will take care of us in that he will take care of us. So, I want to take a little side note here before we even get started. If you are in a marriage and your husband is beating you, you need to go to the authorities, you need to go to authority in the church and let them know and get the help that you need because God doesn’t want that for your marriage. He wants the marriage that you have in your mind, that marriage he wants a marriage of love, he cares about us. He’s come to give us abundant life and we want that abundant life. So, that’s a side note. Keep that as your side note. So, if you need help in that area, you go and you get the help that you need. So here we go wives. In the same way. Now, we know the way jesus suffered. It’s ok to suffer. We may have some suffering in our life. It’s okay. We’re gonna put our big girls on and we pants on and we are able to do this. And in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands. So that if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their lives. And so here jesus is saying, it’s not about what you tell somebody, it’s about your behavior. And so we want to have the behavior that God wants us to have. Who do we submit to just our own husbands? How do we submit? We submit as long as it’s not against what God’s word tells us. And when we’re submitting, we are looking right through them to God because we’re not submitting because they deserve. Maybe they don’t deserve. We are submitting because God has called us to call us to its office of wife ship by college. So first peter 32 says when they see the purity and reverence of your lives, what is that purity and reverence? Well, purity means without sin. Reverence means honor. And so the goal is to not retaliate. If your husband is is coming at you, not physically but emotionally. And he’s trying to wind you up. We don’t retaliate because we’re gonna be pure, we’re gonna be we’re not gonna be revengeful. We’re not gonna be a whole bitterness because that’s all sin, right? That keeps us from being pure reverence is just honor. It’s an honor to God. We’re honoring that position. Okay, so and then verse three, your your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Okay, so they’re saying for Peter saying, don’t look at the outside more than you do the inside. You want to look at the outset, you want to take care of yourself, that’s honoring to God, to take care of yourself and to to look nice for your husband. But that can’t be everything what everything is is the inside, it’s the purity and reverence, and we’ll go on to see what else it says. Rather, it should be that of your inner self. The unfailing beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. I love that. Do you want to be a great worth in God’s sight? I do. I do. He created me. And the way to do that is by uh the unf aiding beautiful beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. Now, that doesn’t mean a when it says quiet, it doesn’t mean a whisper. It’s really nique nous, its power under control. Okay, so gentle power under control, attitude. And so what you’re doing is you’re submitting to God. And as you do that with purity and reverence. Power under control. Right, then that’s worth great um in God’s sight, it’s worth great nest. Let’s put it that way. That in herself for this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves, okay adorn themselves. So, I think of adorning making making beautiful. How did they do that? They did it with a gentle and quiet spirit, a spirit under control. Not one who’s lashing out and retaliating and and revenge and bitterness, all of those words. None of that. And then it goes on. They submitted themselves to their own husbands. Not every husband, not every man just to their own husbands. And it says like Sarah who obeyed Abraham and called him her Lord. Wow! So Sarah went through a lot with Abraham, if you remember uh Abraham, do you remember Abraham said to Sarah, tell the king that you’re my sister because he was afraid that the king might hurt him. And so she did. She told them he was her sister and he almost slept with her. But God intervened so that that wouldn’t happen. And he ended up, the king ended up sending her back home. And everybody lived praise God because God was over it. But that’s what, that’s Abraham. Abraham and she’s calling him her lord. Not because he deserved it, but because she knew her position designed by God, not designed by man, but designed by God. And God is the one who keeps our integrity. He’s the one who watches over. And if we’re struggling, we can go to him and he will help make things the way that picture in your mind of a great marriage, he’s in the business of doing that. But it comes in the back door, it doesn’t come around with you saying everything that um you think you need to make things right. It comes by letting love cover a multitude of sin as the bible says. And yes, there are times that you absolutely have to stand up because you God wants you to stand up. He doesn’t want your husband sinning against you. Any sin is a sin against God. And you don’t want your husband sinning against God because of you, do you. And so It goes on in the rest of verse six, it says you are her daughters. If you do what is right and do not give way to fear. And so we’re called to do the right thing and the right thing is to submit to our own husbands, not only when they’re right or not when we think they’re right, but we’re to submit. And it doesn’t mean that we don’t appeal that we don’t give our our thought about something because God brought the to flush together. And we’re the helpmate, right? And that word helpmate in the greek and Hebrews says it’s um it means admire a door isn’t that interesting, admire a door. So it’s and I that kind of mindset in Helpmate, it’s not let me tell you what to do. So that you’ll do it my way and it’s trusting God when it’s not the way it doesn’t mean that you don’t go and say, I think this honey or I think that you, you bring your position because that’s helpful. You may see a side that they’re not seen but you don’t do that in a nagging way all day long, you present and then you let it go and when you let it go you’re saying God I trust you for this thing, whatever it is, I’m gonna take my hands off of it and I’m gonna trust you because you’re gonna speak through my husband, whether he’s walking with you or not, it’s not dependent on that he will speak through your husband to what he wants done. And the, the, the hearts of the king are in the palm of God’s hand. The bible says in proverbs and so we’re trusting that we’re trusting that it will be in the palm of his hand again. Doesn’t all come down to Lord help me to trust you when, when I’m really struggling and it ends in do not give way to fear. And I think so often I will end up in the fear side. Like if I don’t tell john exactly the way I want something to be then I’m fearful that it will be bad for me and that instead of just letting God decide and maybe like Isaiah 55 83 11 says, you know my ways are not your waist Cindy. They’re my thoughts are not your thoughts, they’re higher their heavenly, they’re better. And so you think if we do it this way, just like Eve did remember Eve was 100% sure that this was the right thing to do, which is why she manipulated atom and convinced him to go for it because she believed with everything in her. And I think how often do I believe with everything in me that this is the path to go and it’s not the path in the end. It’s not just like Eve and I don’t want to be like Eve, I don’t want to, I talked to so many women more than I care to that have believed that their marriage is bad and it could very well be, I’m not denying that, it’s not bad that, but that they believe wholeheartedly that things would be better outside the marriage. And because they look horizontally to all who have divorced, not looking this way into the word, looking up or into the word and so they justify, you know, christian A and B and C and D did it and they’re okay, I should do it. And that’s not the way to look at it is that we’re to go to God, we’re going to go to Godly people who are walking rightly don’t go to people who are sinning for your help because you’re not going to get help there, you’re gonna get what satan wants there and you don’t want that, you want real help. You want to have that happiness that your heart wants in your marriage. Let’s let God work on that. And then I have good friends who have been so faithful to God in the midst of such struggles in their marriage and to watch them is just magnificent. And I think, you know, I think they’re laying up treasures in heaven as the bible says better than any silver or gold. I mean, I can’t wait to see the great reward for obedience in these women’s lives. You know why? Because they’re a great demonstration here on earth of what it is to be christ and the church and to submit. Now again, I want to remember that this is not for people who have husbands who physically abuse them. God does not want that. And so you need to go and get help right away if that’s going on in your life. Um I just want to make sure I think of so many stories, oh my gosh! Um Of John and I in in our marriage over the years, we’ve been married 38 years now and we’ve had many times up up and down through tragedy and all of that. And God has been faithful to hold us together and we have a saying now we want to grow old and wrinkly enjoying each other and God more and more and we so are enjoying our life together. Why? Because john and I have talked about this because of that covenant that we have entrusting him and we have decided together many years ago that divorce would never be an option ever for us. And so we call it the never never box. So it was never put on the table ever in our lives. Even when things get hard, you know, I mean, imagine um, when things are hard, I think about Children too, if you have Children and and things are hard, you want to escape and you say it’s for the Children. But honestly, in the end, the Children are better with mom and dad, a mom and a dad. Statistically, that’s showing in our world that when there is only one part they don’t do as well, which we can understand. That makes sense, doesn’t it? And so life is john always says life. Um, you know, he always tells me Cindy hard is just hard. It’s not bad. Sometimes we just have to go through hard and God will help us to get through hard as we trust in him. And I think if I would have jumped ship so many years ago, I would have missed out on the wonderful love relationship that we have now. Just because I had an attitude of ungrammatical tattooed 20 years ago and I don’t want to have that, you know, it’s important to look at the best have to call it charitable judgments to have charitable judgments for each other, always looking at the best, there’s no person on this earth besides God, when jesus and the holy spirit in me that loves me more than my husband or that takes better care and you may not have a marriage like that now, but that’s what God wants you to have and he’s working in that man to get there and again, if he can’t um I don’t know what the word is, comply that he feels like he has to hurt you, then you have to do something about that. And that’s the best thing for him to know that if you have to go to the authorities or you have to go to somebody, I know how hard that is. But you have to, if you go, that’s going to be the best thing in the end for him. I remember this is the way the Holy Woman of God in the past used to put their hope in God. They submitted to their own husbands, trusting God even Sarah who went through a lot with her husband. Um Okay, And as I shared, you know, I just thinking of four friends, I wrote him right down here with really difficult one wife found out her husband has been having a fair for 20 years. That’s can you imagine that? And she’s still there and they’re putting they’re working hard to put it together why? Because of the covenant, the covenant and that’s what’s important, God, when he has, you get married, you two flesh become one. That’s a covenant that you’ve made with God. And I do think when um when you choose to leave and you say I’m not going to do it and you break that covenant with God. I think it’s a very hard road, not just because he says in his word, it’s a hard road. So it’s not even just then it’s on and on hard road. There’s a really good book out there um called Redeeming Love by Francis rivers. It’s a romantic story about the book of Jose. A and it just shows it’s beautifully written and it shows how to love. Well, somebody who is really difficult to love and Jonah, God provided Jonah of fish to eat him. Well, he didn’t eat him. He lived in the belly of the fish for three days to help Jonah to get right. And I think when we leave our marriages, I wonder what kind of fish is ahead for us because God desires for us to walk rightly with him and not to scare you. But that’s the truth. You know, he cares so much. He loves us so much that when we go as kids, when our kids go out in the road, we yell at them to get out of the road because of love. This is what our father does. And so I know this is a hard message. But I’m telling you there’s more silver and gold there when you do that. And so I’m trusting that God will help this message get deep into your soul and your heart because there’s silver and gold, there’s rubies and precious stones in this. So let me pray for us, so heavenly father, Lord, God almighty, I pray father that you would help my my friends who are struggling in their marriage Lord and who have this picture of a beautiful marriage in their mind. Lord, can you help them to get that on their refrigerator that they could leave it up there until that thing happens and to go to you often because you have the best plan for them and so we’re trusting you for that and for them. Lord bring them help bring them physical people to come alongside and help them in this difficult time because that’s what you do. That’s how much you love them and we trust you God for that in jesus name, Amen, thank you so much for sitting in on this special edition of my show. Have a great day. Hello, my name is Cindy schmidle er and I have something very special that I want to share with you today. This is a book that I’ve written called tragedy turned upside down. This is a book full of hope and help if you need some strength today, I call it God vitamins if you need some real uh inoculation of the Lord and faith and belief in your life this book is for you. My readers have said they devour it. They sit in one sitting to finish it. They have laughed, they have cried. Most of them have taken notes on it because there’s so many good foundational truths in it that you will want to write down and keep for the storms of your life. Mostly you’re gonna take this book and you’ll want to share it with others that are struggling to. So at your earliest convenience, I’d say pick it up, read it. You will be blessed, blessed, blessed when you read this and share it with those that are struggling right now. Maybe even if they’re not struggling, somebody who needs to know, maybe they don’t have faith and you want them to have faith. You want them to know who jesus is. This book is for you those words that you you just can’t bring to say to a friend or relative. This book is full of all the things that you had hoped to say to them. So pick it up at your earliest convenience