Seven Words That Can Build a Marriage
- Genres:Adrian Rogers, Preaching & Teaching
Scripture Passage: 1 Peter 3:1-7
God designed the divine institution of marriage and has given us the tools to create blessed homes. In 1 Peter 3, there are seven words that can build a marriage and cultivate success in the home.
One: Faith: “For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands…” (1 Peter 3:5).
A three-fold cord is not easily broken; likewise, a marriage made up of a man, a woman and God is difficult to break.
Two: Acceptance: “Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear” (1 Peter 3:1-2).
Man and woman are equal in worth before God, but they do not serve the same function. Once we accept our God-given roles, we will receive the blessing of a harmonious marriage.
Three: Contentment: “Do not let your adornment be merely outward… rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit…” (1 Peter 3:3-4).
Like true character and beauty, contentment is inward. Both husbands and wives must learn contentment within the home, but even more, within themselves.
Four: Forgiveness: “Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous…” (1 Peter 3:8).
We must learn to forgive one another, releasing the grudges and the burden of bitterness.
Five: Communication: “He who would love life and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips from speaking deceit” (1 Peter 3:10).
Marriages function based on communication; it is crucial to learn how to communicate with your spouse.
Six: Romance: “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife…” (1 Peter 3:7).
The physical part of our marriages cannot grow cold; we must dwell together, showing consistent admiration and honor to one another.
Seven: Prayer: “…and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:7).
Spouses must learn to pray with and for each other. Adrian Rogers often repeated the adage, “The family that prays together, stays together.”
Apply it to your life
We are not perfect people, and we will not have perfect marriages. But if we build our homes upon these seven words, our love will flourish.
have a wonderful message on the home this morning and I pray it will be a blessing to your heart. Love and marriage is wonderful actually it is a mirror. But the great miracle is not love at first sight friends. The great miracle is love After a long, long look. Mhm Pastor teacher and author. Adrian Rogers was a husband of 54 years. He was also a father, a grandfather and a great grandfather who loved to counsel couples both young and old using biblical principles for building their homes this month on love worth finding. We will be sharing some of those principles with you have your bibles ready and join us as we learn how to build our marriages, our families and our homes. And if this message is an encouragement to you, remember you can stream this message again and download Pastor Rogers outlined notes and other resources to go along with this message all at l WF dot org. Now let’s join Adrian Rogers Find please 1st Peter. Chapter three have a wonderful message on the home this morning and I pray it will be a blessing to your heart. Love and marriage is wonderful actually it is a miracle but the great miracle is not love at first sight friend. The great miracle is love After a long, long look, I told Joyce honey, I I still love you after so many years. Well how do you keep the honey in the honeymoon? You don’t want to be like that man who enjoyed showing his pictures of his wedding, the video backwards so he could see himself walking out of the church. A free man don’t be like that. How can you keep that excitement that thrill here. Where we’re going to be studying about Abraham and Sarah. And let’s look in the scripture here, beginning in verse one. Likewise, you wives be in subjection to your own husbands that if any obey not the word they also may without the word be won by the conversation. That that literally means the behavior of the wives. It includes what one would say, but it goes far beyond that in the king. James english verse two while they behold your chase. That means you’re pure behavior couple to join with fear whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of the planting of the hair, the wearing of gold or the putting on of apparel. But let it be the hidden man of the heart in that which is not corruptible. Even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in old time, the holy women also who trusted in God or not adorn themselves being in subjection unto their own husbands. Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him Lord whose daughters ye are as long as you do well and are not afraid with any amazement. Likewise, she husbands dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered. We’ll stop our reading right there. But this is a description of Sarah and Abraham, and it uses them as an example. Now, that’s an encouragement to me. Because a friend, I won’t tell you, Sarah and Abraham had a lot of obstacles. They were not a perfect couple. They had all kinds of pressures. For example, they had family pressures. They lived in a tent lady. How would you like to live in a tent constantly moving. They had unfulfilled passions and desires and ambitions. They were looking for a city that had foundations, but it took in their married life. They never found it. There was a very ugly part. There was a third person who came into their marriage. A woman named Hagar and Abraham had a child. Bye Hagar. That’s an ugly thing. And I’m sure one of the marks upon Abraham’s life that he certainly has to hang his head and shame about. And they had difficulty with their Children. They had a blended family and not only that, but Children themselves, or just the difficulty we might might as well admit. From the time A child is 12 2 18. He watches his parents aged 20 years. They had these kids, they had to deal with. And Abraham failed. There was a time when Abraham failed to protect Sarah and he told a half truth in order to save his own hide. He was kind of a scoundrel when he did that. And yet he’s known as a man of faith. But it certainly wasn’t perfect. And they went through all of this, all of the things that we all go through the fiery passions of youth when they fell in love then middle age. Mhm. They say, you know, youth looks forward, Old age looks backward. Middle age just looks worried. They went through uh middle age and and then uh they went through old age, what we call old age, the sunset years of life. And they went through all of that. But they made it and so can you if you put in practice some of the things that we’re going to teach about today. Now the point I’m making is nobody has a perfect marriage because of no perfect people. Right, well how are we going to have the kind of a home that God wants us to have? May I give you seven simple words. Now, the outline today, all you have to do is just right down seven words. But these seven words are going to come out of this passage of scripture that we’re looking at today. And if you will take these seven words and inculcate them, I believe I can promise to you a successful family. First word is faith, F A I. T. H. Now look if you will in first peter chapter three verse five for after this manner in old time. The holy women also now watch this phrase. Who trusted In God. I’m just gonna stop reading right there and then go down to verse seven. Likewise. Ye husbands well with them according to knowledge, giving honor and to the wife is under the weaker vessel as being heirs together of the grace of life. Now the grace of life means the power of God that comes into your life through faith. It’s very obvious that in spite of all of their faults and the peccadilloes, Abraham and Sarah had an abiding faith in God. You know what the bible says. The bible says. A threefold cord is not easily broken. When you take one strand, you may break it wrap it with another strand is harder to break, but threefold cords. Our most difficult to break. What is the threefold cord that binds our homes together? The man, the woman and God. A 3fold Chord is not easily broken. Now, friends listen, you will never have a successful home in my humble but accurate opinion apart from God. And you’ll never know God as you ought without faith. Abraham and Sarah are listed there in hebrews. Chapter 11 as champions of faith. Second word, not only the word faith, Here’s the second word, acceptance, acceptance. Look now in Chapter three and verse one. Likewise, you wives be in subjection to your own husbands. That if any obey not the word they may without the word be won by the behavior of the wine. That is your husband is not going to be perfect. He’s not always going to be ah he’s not always going to be living in accordance with the word of God. Now there there comes a word here while we’re in the neighborhood being subjection to your own husband. That’s a friend. That submission to your husband does not mean you’re inferior. The devil’s pulled a trick on people. The devil today has tried to obliterate the differences between the sexes Under the guise of making men and women equal. He’s tried to make them the same. Men and women are equal before God in crisis. Neither male nor female june agree we are all one in the Lord, jesus christ. But equality of worth is not the sameness of function. God has put headship in the home. God has made the husband be the head of the home, not the boss of the home. Mhm. There’s a difference between ah bossiness and headship. When the husband is the head of the home, that simply means he has a responsibility. It doesn’t mean he has superiority but it has a certain responsibility. You’re never more like the devil. When you’re have an un submissive spirit, you’re never more like the Lord jesus christ. When you have a submissive spirit. We accept one another. Headship for the husband does not mean the husband has greater privileges. It means that he has greater responsibility. But we accept who we are. We accept our God given Roll, sir. If you don’t accept the headship that God has given you in the home. You are a slacker. A shirker failure as a husband and precious lady. If you don’t accept God’s plan for the home, you have a rebellious spirit. Now this doesn’t mean there are fewer blessings. Actually, it means more blessings when we find God’s plan for the home. But there is this matter of acceptance. We accept our roles. We accept one another. Neither of us is perfect, but we accept the other. Never marry a person in order to make them over. If you don’t like what you’re getting, don’t get it. Don’t marriage. You marry in haste, you repent in leisure. But once you’re married, you accepted Now number three, the third word is the word content. The word contentment. Look, if you will. Now in verses three and 4, uh peter is talking about the way that women adorn themselves in dresses and he says, whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of the planting of the hair and of wearing of gold and putting on of apparel. But let it be the hidden man or hidden person of the heart and that which is not corruptible. Underscore the phrase that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. And then again, first peter three verse seven. Likewise, ye husbands dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor into the wife as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life underscore that phrase, heirs together of the grace of life. Now, as you study the life of Abraham and Sarah, you find that God had given them in spite of all of their faults. A spirit of contentment. Now, Abraham was a very wealthy man, but it didn’t flaunt as well, and he was able to use his wealth, not abuse his wealth. He did not always live a life of comfort and security because they had to move from place. The place. Let me say something. You kids are just getting married, learn the secret of contentment, learn that you can get along with with almost anything without almost anything except one another. And God let me just Invert that without God and one another. If you have God, you have one another, you have something to wear, and something to eat. That’s all you need. The bible says, having food and clothing. Raymond, let us there with be content. Now, If you have more. I’m happy for you. If you have ladies, if you have, if you’re wearing gold today, I’m happy for you. If you have a fine dress today, I’m happy for you, sir. If if you have been successful in your business, I’m happy for you. The bible says God takes pleasure in the prosperity of his servant. Listen to me carefully. A wise man once said to whom? Little is not enough. Nothing is enough. And if you didn’t hear that, you missed something real good. It is, it’s not original with me, but it is, it is so true to whom little is not enough. Nothing is enough. Number four. Here’s another keyword is the word forgiveness, forgiveness. Look, if you will again, in verses three, chapter three, verses eight through 10. Likewise, be all of one mind having compassion, one of another. Love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous, not rendering evil for evil or railing for railing, but contrary wise blessing knowing that you are there, and to call that he should inherit a blessing, for he that will love life. Do you love life? Listen, he that will love life and see good days! Do you want good days! Listen, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak. No guile. All married people must learn to forgive. Sometimes it’s hard to make up. I bought Joyce one time a little toy bear, and you push it at Yodels bought it in Switzerland, push it, and it Yodels, and I’m not gonna do it. I’m a good yodeler. But I don’t want to. You push it, and it Yodels, and just a yodel it! It doesn’t have real words in it. But I said to Joyce. listen to this year old one. See what it says to you! She said what it says and listen to it Played three or 4 times and what it says is you already already hold me. Is that what it said? Said Now listen to it. You ought to audio me. So yeah, that’s what it says. Especially little bear. Now we keep that bear in a drawer. And when Joyce and I sometimes you know, have one of those discussions, I know you never have them, but we do and you know, it’s kind of hard to make up a little bit. Somebody just walked in and push that little bear in the belly and he said, you already already told me and we both male and put arms around one another and learn to forgive. You don’t have a YOLO bear. You get something, you get something forgiveness. It is so important. I must rush on. And here’s the next word. The 5th Word is a communication communication. Look again, if you will in chapter three, verses eight through 10 finally be all of one mind having compassion one of another. Love as brethren. Be pitiful, be courteous, not rendering evil for evil or railing for railing, but contrary wise blessing for their into our you call that you should inherit. A blessing. Here’s the verse that deals with communication for he that would love life and see good days. Let him refrain his tongue from evil and his lips that they speak. No guile now Abraham and Sarah were so very different. So our Joyce and Adrian. So therefore you have to learn to communicate. Now, here’s here’s the sixth thing I’ve really got to hurry. Here’s the next word. And it is romance. Romance. Likewise, ye husbands dwell with him according to knowledge. Now look at the word dwell. That word dwell literally means to live with when people are not married and they they share the same house. We say they’re living together. They’re living together. By the way, you have no right to do that. You’re living in fornication and adultery. You say it’s not adultery, we’re not married. I’m not married anybody else. It’s adultery against the person you may be married to. It is certainly contrary to the laws of God. And if you’re living that where you need to stop. But the bible says that husbands and wives, those who are married are to dwell together. And the word literally means to share or has the implication of sharing the same bed. And what it is talking about here is the romance that is in marriage never let the physical part of your marriage grow cold. Uh actually, the word here says, look, giving honor to the wife. Do you see that the word giving Conor comes from a root word, which means precious. You see your wife as someone as something precious when you give honor to a person. What you’re saying to that person is this that I believe in you, everybody needs somebody To whom they are. # one I said in our home. Joyce is # two. But I’m talking about of all human relationships. She’s number one. I am number one in her life And she’s number one in my life. And and how do you how do you give honor? Well one way that you give us a sincere compliment. When I preach and somebody says to me, pastor, I was blessed by that. That’s a blessing to me. And if you won’t do it, it’s fine. I mean if you want, if you don’t want to do it, I feel sorry for you. But that’s fine. But now listen their times when I preach the dog won’t even wag his tail at me. But if Joyce will say that was good, that means something to me, husband wants to be admired and this admiration a wife wants to be admired. And it literally means giving honor and you need to honor the person that you’re married to. And all of this is under the heading of romance because all part of it. You give honor not only privately but publicly. And you honor your wife never make any cheap jokes about your wife. They’re not funny. Everybody needs about 10 hugs And 10 compliments a day. Everybody dies. Keep the romance there, keep the joy there, keep the excitement there. Don’t ever let anybody tell you to grow up on my way home. I’m grateful for a cell phone. I call her and I say there’s a love mobile calling in. I’ll be home baby in five minutes you sensitize your lips seriously. Keep the romance there. I have a crush on that gap. Last of all prayer. Prayer, that’s the 7th word. Look at it again. First Peter 3: verse seven. Likewise you husbands dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor and to the wife as unto the weaker vessel and as being heirs together of the grace of life that your prayers be not hindered. Learn to pray together. Pray it through is more than trying to say that the family that prays together stays together except the Lord keep the city, the watchman wakes but in vain except the Lord build the house. The labor labors in vain learn to pray together. Now you say pastor Rogers. That’s a very strange thing Because you gave us seven words about having a successful home. But you never mentioned love. You never mentioned love friend. All of these are facets of that one thing called love. The old facets of love. Now God knows Abraham and Sarah were not perfect and God really knows that a Adrian and Joyce are not perfect. Joyce comes close but I’m light years away. But I’ll tell you one thing, were it not for God we never would have made it. I know the arrogance. See in my own heart I know my native inclination to selfishness and pride and obstinacy, but I’m so grateful christian home now some are saying pastor Rogers, I heard this message too late. My home is in shambles, we’ve been divorced. Are you talking about a christian home? I’m not even married and maybe I just, all the good guys or good gals seem to be taken. Maybe I’m destined to to live a single life and really what you’ve done maybe to encourage some people and instruct others. It just made me sad today because frankly that’s not that’s not the picture of my life and I don’t see but I don’t see a future like you’ve described. I wish I could have a home that way, but I don’t know that. I can let me say something to you. You’re not a second class citizen. God loves you. God has a wonderful plan for your life. God has a plan for the single life as well as for the married life. That’s another sermon. But it’s a wonderful plan. I’ll tell you something else. If you have blown it and messed up. Our God is a god of grace and forgiveness and you never forget that and God can mend a broken life. If you give him all the pieces, our heads in prayer, heads about, an eyes are closed and if you know that you know the Lord, jesus christ, would you begin to pray for those around you who may not know him. And if you’re hungry for God, you want to know that you’re safe beyond the shadow of any doubt. Would you pray and say, Dear God, I am a sinner and I’m sorry for my sin. I need you and I want you, jesus, you died on that cross and shed your blood to pay for my sin. Thank you for doing that. I opened my heart by faith now like a child, I receive you into my life as my Lord and Savior. Take control of my life and begin now to make me the person you want me to be and help me. Lord jesus, never ever to be ashamed of you, jesus, I’ll make this public this morning. I will not be ashamed of you your name. I pray Amen friend. May I have another moment of your time. If you prayed and asked jesus christ to come into your heart and as best you know, you have given all you know of you all, you know of jesus, I rejoice with you and I would rejoice all the more if you would write to us and let us know what a what a thrill it is to know that people are coming to jesus christ and we will send you some literature. No cost free, will be happy to send it to you. If you just write us and let us know that you have become a believer in jesus christ. This literature will help you to get a solid start in your christian life. We hope that today’s message has been an encouragement to you as we have looked at God’s plan for your marriage and your family. You can stream this message again, share this message with a friend and download other resources related to this message all at L WF dot org or the my L WF app while you’re there, be sure to check out the new bible studies on today’s topic as well as many other topics at L WF dot org. You can also subscribe to our daily heartbeat emails. Each heartbeat contains a daily devotional from Adrian Rogers 90 seconds of profound truth also from Adrian Rogers as well as a link to our daily radio program, all in one place, delivered directly to your computer or mobile device each day. And if you’re looking for some inspiration or encouragement to get you through the week, check us out on social media at L WF ministries or you can catch up with our program each week on our facebook page or Youtube channel or on the my L WF out. Thanks for joining us for today’s message. We’ll see you next time. It’s not love that keeps your marriage together. It’s marriage that keeps your love together and marriage is based on commitment and commitment is based on the lordship of jesus christ to have sweet music in our homes. We need melody, Harmony and rhythm pastor speaker and author. Adrian Rogers helps couples of all ages experience the music of marriage in this profound new book, from love worth finding, taken straight from the messages of Adrian Rogers learn how to have harmony in the home, what to do when the string snaps, how to tune up tire marriages and more for your gift. This month we’d like to send you a copy of the music of marriage, request yours when you call 1 806 47 94 100 or you can give online at L WF dot org.