Adrian Rogers: How to Cultivate a Marriage (1954)
Scripture Passage: Ephesians 5:23-33
Adrian Rogers says, “We can never be over those things that God wants to be under us — until we get under those things that God has put over us.”
In order to learn how to cultivate a marriage and a healthy home, we must first understand godly authority.
Ephesians 5:23 says, “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and He is the Savior of the body.”
This does not mean wives are inferior to their husbands; in Christ, we’re equal. But God created us to meet different needs and fulfill different roles within the home. When the Bible speaks of the husband being the head of the home, it is not speaking of his rights; it speaks of his responsibilities.
There are three major responsibilities that deal with the husband, the first being his servant leadership.
Ephesians 5 does not call the husband a dictator. Rather, we are given the example of Jesus Christ, who is head of the Church, yet serves her and meets her needs. We are to meet the needs of our wives, who submit to our servant leadership.
Husbands are also responsible for sacrificial love, which is first passionate. It is a commitment that comes from the deepest part of our being.
It is also a purifying love, as Ephesian 5:26-27 says: “That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word… not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.”
Husbands are to express their love through their protection. If the enemy wants to attack our homes, he has to go through the husband. Husbands are also responsible for offering loving provision, to meet our family’s physical, spiritual, and emotional needs.
Finally, husbands are responsible for showing steadfast loyalty. Jesus promised to never leave nor forsake His church. (See Hebrews 13:5.) Likewise, we are responsible for keeping the vows we made when we entered our marriage covenant. If we think of marriage as a contract, we will look for loopholes, and miss the blessing that it truly is. But if viewed as a covenant, we will cultivate something beautiful.
Apply it to your life
Are you cultivating a marriage based on servant leadership, sacrificial love, and steadfast loyalty?