Ep 73 – Addictions 10: Robert Knapp
Hi there, I’m tom Harris and I am coming to you with, it’s all greek to me, the program we began with, but this series that we’ve been doing now, we have been for almost two months now is on addiction versus strongholds. And uh because I I was addicted to drugs and my girlfriend and I were when we were younger, just fully embraced the hippie lifestyle, sex drugs, rock and roll. I mean if you weren’t high you weren’t happy. That was my philosophy. I was, I was just always in a party and yet God had a different plan and it came to the point of my life. They had to bind me in a straitjacket and put me in a mental institution. Give me shock treatments because I began to lose touch with reality. But God sent people to rescue me and give me the gospel. And and he changed my life when I heard that God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life. And for years I’ve used this versus scripture to share my own personal journey in uh in luke’s Gospel chapter eight and verse 35. And the people went out to see what had happened and they came to jesus and found the man whom from whom the demons had gone out sitting down at the feet of jesus clothed and in his right mind and they became frightened. Now this story is about about this demo Niac and I would always related to me, but there are others like that on this planet who would totally, you know, homeless on drugs or maybe living alone? Uh, just can’t put it all together. And just whatever the reason was, uh, we just feel driven to go somewhere else and do something else. And robert Knapp is one of those guys and I know that holding his buddy Holden had such a great impact on robert and robert is gonna give us his story, his journey. I met his dad, I was so excited this uh, this year to meet his dad. He was so grateful for what God had done in in uh, in robert’s life. So robert, I’m gonna go back to how you grew up and when you knew Holden Holden night was graduated from TLC four years ago, was going to the mission field in Zambia along with Corey johnson and he just, this ship passed away and I just want to know about you guys as kids when you, how you met and what you did together. And you know, when we grew up only a couple of blocks from each other and I think we either met in, in elementary school kindergarten, but we met, we hung out because we both skateboarded a lot and we would ride bikes and skateboards and just have fun after school with kids. So you’re about 34, also 32, So he was a little older than one year. Yeah, okay. And uh, and, and so, and that was down in Merritt island. So when was the last time you saw him before you guys saw one another more recently? Like for, you know, whatever. A couple of years ago, once we started uh it was around high school, not not shortly after I dropped out of high school. And uh, he actually came to work with my dad for a little while. Okay. Now you dropped out. Why did you drop out of high school? What happened? Uh, I was struggling with my mom and dad got a divorce and I just, I gave up on school. I didn’t think I needed it. Okay. But then I understand you went to work for Nasa. So how did that happen? That’s a funny story. Yeah, I picked up the pieces. I did good for a while. I went to church trying to do the right thing and God blessed me. And uh, after I made a life for myself, I had a child and was doing really good. I worked for Nasa as a welder. You’re a welder. What what exactly you do as a welder. I was welding on their launch pads, putting together building the launchpad and actually welding parts and pieces for the rockets for SpaceX and Nasa, A guy that dropped out of high school. So all right. So you got married? You have a son? Yeah, I had a kid. I had a kid at 18 and that, that really straightened me out. I I was a straight good kid for a couple of years. And then slow I started drinking and doing cocaine and then so slowly but surely it started taking away things out of my life. Yes, I’ve got a Dy uh therefore I couldn’t really do anything after work like go out with my friends. So that straightened me out for a little while too. But but so you got involved in drinking and drugging and for how long did that last? It was probably about four years, four or five years and I was actually still working and that’s all you’re still working there and you’re still you’re you’re trying to play both sides. And then I was barely skating by you know. And finally I I lost my job at SpaceX because of drugs and alcohol. I just couldn’t make it to work anymore. And my girlfriend at the time, she left me and kicked me out of our apartment and I had a 12 or I had an eight year old son at the time and I had nowhere to really put him, I had nowhere to go, so I had nowhere for him to go. So I took him to my father’s house and I was like, I can’t take care of him anymore. Me and my dad weren’t really on good terms and he’s like I’ll take my grandson in, but you gotta find a place that yourself. So that kind of I felt uh I’m not really sure what the word, not abandoned, but you felt rejected, rejected, rejected, sure it was not, it was not you, he was rejected. He was just didn’t want his grandson growing up with all that stuff. That was it. That was the girlfriend left me. I lost my job. It was all in about a month’s time. I was living in the woods, went from working. What exactly is that what you’re living in the woods? There’s no bathroom, there’s no shower, there, there’s no bed there, there’s no you’re with the animals. Come on, you’re living in the woods. That’s what I did. I had literally nowhere else to go. None of my face. I burned all my bridges from drugs and alcohol and lying and stealing and I was just untrustworthy and I took it all myself. Well look, I can try to survive out in the woods and it actually worked in my favor. How long were you there? 6, 7 years. Seven years, Not seven days. Seven years. And it went by like that. So what did you look like in the woods for? Seven years? It was drugs. I chased drugs for seven years. Really? Okay. Uh Okay. And it was, it was meth it was cocaine. I didn’t have the money for cocaine somehow. I’ve got involved with somebody that had meth. So I’ve found a way to get it. And then there was people I met homeless people I met that we’re actually living in the woods cooking meth. So it made it that much easier to get there. I felt accepted. So, and that’s what, that’s what I did. I abandoned my family and my son and I went and lived in the woods. Wow, I mean this, this is like this guy right here man and he was, it says you know this guy, when you read the story, it says that he was naked, that he was tied up to a rock worse than you and he was terrorizing all the community and jesus went all the way out of his way to talk to him and tell him he loved him and see God you were going to merit to first baptist Merritt Island to get food. And you saw your old buddy Holden, I know the story because you told me the story, but tell us that story. So what happened that day you come out of the woods, you’ve been on meth, you’ve done all this stuff and now you’re going to Merritt Island, you would sneak over there to get some food and stuff. Right? I was, I had actually been out of the woods for almost a year when I seen him, my my family came together and put me into a trailer on a piece of property and so look, we’re gonna help you try it one more time. Really? I didn’t know this part of the story to get your life together and they helped me, they bought me a car, They got me my license back, they put me in a trailer on a beautiful piece of property and they’re like, now you just got to find a job because we’re not gonna pay your rent forever. But they paid the rent in the electricity and the water and parents that love you. So six months goes by. My mom dies. I get back on meth and I quit going to work. I was, I was going to work a couple of days a week and then I finally just stopped going altogether and then my dad was like, look, I don’t know what you’re gonna do, but I’m not going to pay the electric bill, whatever, blah, blah blah. I lost my license, I lost my car because it license expired or the tags expired. Well you could understand this. My car broke down, I had no money. You know, you’re on meth and, and you know, your dad’s paying for your rent, your dad’s paying for your electric bills and stuff, but he’s not paying for that so you can get high every day. I mean, you know it to me, it makes no sense. Young people think, hey, you know, I could live the way I wanted, my father’s gonna flip the bill. No, it doesn’t work like that, you know, so then you’re, you’re out again, yep. So I’m going to the food pantry in Merritt Island, the House of Hope? And did that become a habit? It was about four days before when I was I prayed? Yeah, it wasn’t every monday if I had if if I wasn’t working right then and there it was every monday because I had no job, I couldn’t even buy food anymore. But that’s what it’s there for people, God’s people loving other people remember praying a couple of days before and I was like, well just I need help. And I didn’t, I forgot about that prayer completely. Four days I go to the House of Hope on monday morning and I’m getting ready to go through the food line to get my food. And I saw my friend holding night uh it was crossing paths, we cross paths with just the right moment and he goes, are you okay? And I was I stuttered. I said yeah. And I stopped for a second. I was like, no, I remember the prayer and I told him no, I’m not alright. And he was like, you are, you need to talk. And I was like, yeah, he’s like right now, it’s like right now. And uh he he got me a plane ticket four days later, I’m at TLCC four days after that I accept Christ as my Lord and Savior And my whole life has changed. So how long ago was that? It’s been 11 months this week since I’ve been at TLC, you said your whole life has been changed my whole life. He’s changed the way I think he’s changed the way I look at life, he’s changed the way I treat people. He’s changed the way he’s given me a hope in the future and just Yes. Mhm. I just it’s a blessing that I could that he that I’ve received from him. Now I can be a blessing to somebody else that my friend Holden was for me. That’s what it’s about. One beggar who found the bread to tell her the beggars way to get it. He stood in the gap, he stood in the gap. Now You’ve been here 11 months. You you’re gonna graduate the second phase. You got a lot of different options. But the greatest thing is that God is transforming you so you can transform other people with the same good news, the gospel message that God changed your life. So um what what what you told me about your son? You you want to see your son and I’m pretty excited about you going down there. But um you know the other thing is I watch you work, you got the joy of the Lord. You got joy in your life man. Every time I look at your face you’re you’re smiling, you’re joyful. You’re grateful for every little thing that you have an opportunity to do. You know, tell me where did you, where does this joint come from? I mean I know other people claim to be christians but I see christ in your face. It definitely came from christ Yeah, because I know that what I’m doing here at TLC is to help the next guy that didn’t think he had hope that some people just don’t see hope and they can’t see past their nose. That was me. I I just I didn’t know what the help looked like. Now I can be the help. It’s amazing what God has done. He was molding me and those all those years. Now what are some of the favorite favorite? Do you have a favorite versus scripture? Do you have a favorite story? I do I do have a favorite scripture. And it was the one that really changed me inside was anyone who loves their life must lose it. But anybody who loses their life for my sake will find it and I had to give up, I had to sacrifice. That’s Luke 1733. And it’s it’s all about sacrifice and it’s not always what I want anymore. It’s how can I help somebody else Because I feel like when I help somebody else, I love to see other people smile, I love to make other people happy. But when I am an encouragement to somebody else and I can see them getting going through something and I can be a help to them. It’s a double blessing I get blessed for blessing somebody else. You know that versus scripture that you quoted or that you yeah, you quoted is found also in luke chapter nine verse 23 that concept and then 20 24 5 and six it’s so well in john chapter 12 in fact it’s found, it’s found there as well. This principle, it cuts right across the the the whole Matthew mark luke and john all, all the gospels have this uh This verse and here’s what it says in chapter 12, truly, truly I say to you And and by the way there 50 times in the Gospel of john it uses the words truly, truly. I mean, I mean now no other gospel does that Matthew mark or luke, they don’t do that. You know, you’ll only see it once But John 50 times for different reasons. And this is one of those 50, it says truly, truly I say to you unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains by itself alone. But if it dies, it bears much fruit. He who loves his life verse 25 loses it. But he who hates his life In this world shall keep it to life Eternal. There’s that principle again that you see in Luke 1733 and it’s also in Matthew It’s also in In Luke 14 as well. I mean it just repeats the Lord would use that principle a lot because we’re so selfish were always about trying to, you know and so he says if you if you deny yourself then you’ll find yourself. If you if you’re trying to find and make for yourself the life then you’re gonna lose that. And that’s what a life of faith is. A life of faith. Presupposes that God, who is the creator loves me more than I love myself, God created me, he loves me. He he sent jesus christ to die and across from me, he was buried for me, he arose again from the dead for me and faith says, you know what, I can trust God with my life, I don’t have to try to do it. I can trust God with my life that he knows the choices that I should be making better than me. And that’s when you discovered that verse that thought, that concept Anything you if you could speak to your friends that you used to run with, you know what would you tell them right now? You know, it’s only been 11 months since you’ve been here. It’s not like 11 years. Just you know, you’re just 11 months in in Christ and in your journey with Christ I would say to them believe and have faith that it can be done. Okay. You have to you have to explain that believe and have faith that what can be done and believe and have faith in what that christ can change and change you, you can change your heart if you try and believe in don’t give up. Okay so let’s let’s just go ahead and and pray and ask God to take this uh session that we just talked about that that your life and how you were you had to come to a point. Well you said I need help. God will not force us. He stands at the door and knocks. You know if we hear his voice and open the door he will come in but we have to be willing Just like in John Chapter five where the man wanted to get healed, he was paralyzed and and and he kept making excuses. Somebody beats me into the oh you know and jesus said will you be made? Well in other words is a part of your world. You recognize that you got a problem. Will you turn to christ with your problem and cry out to him father, God thank you for roberts life robert Knapp that you have you have taken from the scrap pile. You have just you had a beautiful plan for his life to satan no longer can destroy this man that he is your child. You have blessed him with a very, very healthy and wise mind and he’s strong physically. He’s got a beautiful spirit and heart and soul. I pray for him for his son for his dad for his Lord. His whole family thank you that uh Lord he has come to you, he knows you, he loves you and he wants to do your will. And I pray for others that are out there that are hopeless, helpless. Maybe they’re even homeless like like robert was I pray they would cry today to you father God and ask your help. Oh God touched them and save them in jesus name. Amen. Amen.