Communicate or Disintegrate

The biggest problem in many marriages is failure to adequately communicate; if we don’t learn to communicate, our homes could disintegrate.

Marriage is the most intimate relationship there is; we are designed to communicate on the deepest level. Healthy communication peaks when we have absolute, total, openness with one another, spoken in discerning kindness and gentleness.

Jesus is both the power and the example of healthy communication, and we would be wise to follow His steps.

We must first remember the awesome power of communication; the tongue gives direction, but it can also bring destruction, because our words reveal what is in our hearts. (See Matthew 12:34.)

Adrian Rogers says, “If you want to know what’s in their hearts, listen to their words.”

The greatest hurts in the home often come from spoken words. The problem of poor communication could be due to our differences as men and women.

There is also the issue of self-centeredness, being full of pride and clinging to the idea of being “right.”

1 Peter 3:7 says, “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.”

Poor communication could also be rooted in bitterness, unresolved problems, or an unforgiving spirit, which completely defile marriages. The distractions of life or differences in temperament could also hinder healthy communication.

Insecurity or fear directly threaten our ability to achieve the freedom level of communication.

1 Peter 3:8 says, “Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous…”

If we want to practice proper communication, everyone must do their parts. We must learn to be more sensitive with each other, to deal with our own self-centeredness, and to be willing to overlook our partners’ problems. We must find the root of a closed-off spirit, create areas of commonality, and make time to talk things through.

Communication is an ongoing process. It evolves over time spent together, and requires maintenance; yet there is nothing more important.

Life Application

Are you practicing healthy communication with your family? Pray for Jesus’ power as you follow His example in how you speak to others. Adrian Rogers says, “Quit trying to change your partner and change yourself.”