Choosing Life for Those Without a Choice – Ryan and Bethany Bomberger
He was conceived in difficult circumstances and adopted into a large, loving family. She was a single mom, inspired by God to keep her baby. Together, Ryan and Bethany Bomberger speak out for the value of every human life. They shine a light on an issue that is often lost in the discussion about abortion—the truth that abortion disproportionately targets the black community. They share about the evils of the abortion industry while pointing to hope and truth in Christ.
we have to understand as christians that we don’t have the luxury of staying silent about something that is the human injustice of our day and that we are going to be held responsible because it’s no longer going to be that we don’t know these things. Welcome to the focus on the family broadcast helping families thrive, john it’s sad to say this, but the United States has one of the most extreme abortion policies in the world, similar to communist china and north Korea in many states, abortion is allowed in the third trimester even up to the point of birth and there’s a disproportionate impact on the black community, especially yet. A 2019 survey released by Yougov in partnership with Americans United for Life found that 80% of americans reject abortion the day before a child is born. And two thirds of pro choice americans oppose abortion in the third trimester, you can sense the momentum in the pro life movement right now. I’ve said this many times that abortion is a moral issue. It’s not a political issue. It’s been dragged into the political sphere. But this is about life and death. We’re talking about the lives of millions of pre born babies and the health and well being of their mothers and today’s conversation with the bomb burgers will be eye opening and encouraging for many of our listeners so please stay with us. Yeah Ryan and Bethany co founded the radiance Foundation. It’s a life affirming nonprofit Ryan is an Emmy Award winning creative professional in the home school their four Children, two of whom have been adopted. Ryan has a book called not equal civil rights gone Wrong. It’s an excellent combination of text and graphic arts and you can get that when you call 800 the letter A and the word family or click the link in the program notes. Jim Here’s how you began that conversation. Ryan and Bethany welcome to focus on the family. Thanks. It’s great to be here. Yeah. And it’s so good. And I can’t wait to have a discussion with you on a variety of topics, Ryan, your story begins out of some very difficult circumstances. Tell us about your birth mom and how your journey and passion for life began. Well, it began with violence. Actually my birth mom experienced the horror and the violence of rape and yet she was courageous enough to not only give me incredible gift of life, but gave me the gift of adoption. So when people ask, why are you so passionate about this? And I’m thinking, you know, where did your story begin? I think Well, it began when I began And the fact that she made that singular decision that literally will have reverberations for generations just continues to impact. I grew up in a tiny little family have 15 in my family, six brothers and six sisters cracked vinyl seats. I’ll never forget it. But that’s great and they adopted. How many kids, your, your mom and dad, your adoptive mom and dad family Trailblazer. You are and that’s something let me I mean, we’re laughing at that. But what you said was very serious about how you came into the world because this probably is, you know, the most difficult thing for all of us pro life pro choice to talk about. The tragic thing is that we think even christians think that the natural follow up to something so horrific and violent is the violence of abortion. But abortion doesn’t doesn’t heal anyone who’s actually been raped and it doesn’t ever punish the rapist and it punishes the child. And I find that the common thread through those who choose to parent, those who chose adoption and those who are post abortive is that they believe and they’ve expressed to us in many different events that the only redemptive part of that act as the child, the circumstances of our conception never change the condition of our worth. Well, that’s so true of abortion generally. Right. I mean, you think about it, that’s one of the things I mean, we advocate, we get it. It’s a tough decision. We understand that. And even the country, the law says you can make this decision, but I’m telling you the better decision is life period. Everything will flow better for you emotionally spiritually. I think even physically, uh if you make that right decision and hopefully that will be overturned at some point, but it will never go away. Uh those sides will still fight through courts etcetera. but that’s where I’ve always felt, we’ve got to make roe v wade irrelevant. And what I mean by that is that a woman would not want to choose that for her baby. Make it unacceptable to say I want to kill my child. Exactly. I mean, this is what we’re working toward through the organization that we found in the ratings foundation. We want to make it unthinkable and we emphasize the beauty that rises out of tragic circumstances. God specializes in that all the time. Yeah. And you know, again, I’m just you’re speaking from a different point of conviction. I mean, you easily could not have been here because both, I’m sad to say this, but even within the church and outside the church, definitely, uh, you’re unfortunately the one that most of us would say, well, it was a rape, Right? How does it make you feel? I mean, you’re in that 1% category. 1% of abortions are from rape and incest. I’m the 1% that use 100% of the time to justify abortion. I can tell you there are a lot of people who are very happy that I’m alive, but you’re right. It’s a tangible example Of what we’re told and what we’ve begun as a Christian body to think that it’s okay in certain instances, but I think that many, many Christians even don’t understand that 1% still leaves 99%. And even if we gave over the 1%, which we’re not gonna do that would still leave 99% of abortions that aren’t from incest and rape. And and we’re saying that 100% of the time there’s a better bethany, let’s turn towards you. I didn’t mean to ignore you of course. But what’s your story? What’s your story? Well, I was one of those girls that grew up in church. I love the Lord. From a really young age. Through my teen years, things got a little bit rough as they do with many people, but I really stayed close to the Lord when I was In my 20’s. Um I had my degrees and I was teaching and I had a master’s degree. Um and there were some situations that came into my life that were, I like to say them, they were disappointments. I was really disappointed and went through a number of years where really I was emotionally numb things that I thought were going to come to fruition. Hadn’t Lord, where are you? Those kind of years. And during that time I was in a relationship with somebody who was emotionally abusive And wasn’t uh planning to be with him forever, but found that I was pregnant. I was 28, I was I was old enough to know. Um but in a place where this is just where my decisions had led me, I was teaching in public school, all my teachers, all, the all my colleagues were like just abort, We won’t tell anybody, nobody will know. The kids won’t know the biological father is like, I want nothing to do with you, I’ll give you the money to abort. And I was like Lord, I don’t even know what to do with all of this. But I went and scheduled an ultrasound and I was just a few weeks, about eight weeks pregnant. And I went for this ultrasound. And for me it’s always been very special. When I looked back to realize it was a saturday morning. It was february 14th which is valentine’s day. It was at 9 30 in the morning. I know it’s strange, but I was the only one in this whole building, The only one there. Um In fact, I thought, do I have the wrong date? And the text said, no, you’re the only one today. Come on in. And there I saw this ultrasound and I saw this beating heart which looked more like a piece of rice that was blinking. Yeah. But I had a moment, a defining moment with the Lord and I just felt his presence just embrace me in that room and I just felt his heart just wrapped my heart and this baby’s heart. And I went home that night and I said, father forgive me for just being selfish. I want this child to be somebody that she’s proud of her mama. And I opened this old journal and in the margin of this old journal was this verse um psalm 34 5 and it said I sought the Lord. He delivered me from all my fears. Those that look to him will be radiant and their faces will never be covered with shame. Didn’t even know that I was carrying my oldest daughter. But I named her baby radiance. And everybody thought I was crazy. But I said you know what her story is gonna be this great exchange that the Lord never gets tired of. He’s gonna take the shame of any part of this testimony and exchange it for his radiant glory. Well, we, you know, we have run down the line here. I want to come back to how you guys met. And that was that was actually the second question I had. I mean, yeah, How’d you guys meet? Well, interestingly enough, it was over the whole issue of abortion. Right. It’s it’s funny how So I I went to, we both had gone a region. He had graduated and I was back there getting a masters degree. Yeah. And um I was on this committee that was helping to plan concerts for youth in the area and he won’t say this. But he was the lead singer of this big band at the time called surreal. Thank goodness. They weren’t signed because we wouldn’t have ended up together. But in the process of this. One of the, one of these events that I was working on helping to coordinate was a benefit concert for a crisis pregnancy center. And so I would say I fell in love with them the first time I saw it was love at first sight for both of us. It was a long journey to get to that point of marriage. However, but it was a love part of that journey was a few, a number of years where it didn’t didn’t work out. So when I share about leaving and being like Lord, I thought you spoke things. That was one of the things. So we went our own separate ways for a number of years and the Lord worked on my heart. The Lord worked on his heart from just some depression that I believe is actually get into it. Let’s what was going on for you. Well, this is part of the thing that we underestimate what happens in the womb to that child. What happens emotionally and psychologically, I believe that a child feels rejection in the womb because there was this rejection that I felt throughout my life, even though I was loved, like crazy by my parents, there was this and it was probably my drive toward perfection because I never wanted to be rejected. And so unfortunately, there was a self loathing that just kept increasing increasing and by the time, you know, I I got my master’s degree, it started to overtake me and when you’re depressed, you, you surround yourself with darkness. Darkness loves more darkness and I started realizing that I was surrounding myself with with darkness And so I was intentional of course about reading and I put these verses up around my room and there was a song by an artist called Cindy More Gun and it was a song called I Will Be Free and I would just read the lyrics to that chorus and just think I want to be in that place. And there was a drive home from work and it’s probably about 30 35 minute drive home from work and probably for the 200 times I had listened to that song just for the last few weeks and something broke literally broke inside of me as I drove across that bridge and I’m just, I mean I’m crying like crazy, could barely see and I felt like something broke. So when I sang the lyrics that time I will be free, I’ll be free to run the mountains, I will be free free to drink from the living fountain. The lyrics became real. By the time I got home there was something so different. There was, I knew something had broken inside of me. So I go in the backyard, I’m jumping on the trampoline because I mean literally the joy was manifesting itself, I just could not, I couldn’t help but just jump and I called my sister right away and it was there was a freeing and of course satan’s always trying to lie to you. And so he’s you know, you’re gonna wake up next morning, you’re gonna be depressed. I never experienced that depression one second of my life thereafter. And as a creative individual, I mean we internalize a lot of things. There was a breaking, there was a deliverance, there was a freedom and I know that this does not happen for everyone, but it was a holy spirit deliverance on that drive home from work. No, that’s that’s awesome. Yes. So it wasn’t long after that that we ended up back in touch with each other and here I have a one year old daughter, but my heart for that one year had just been turned back to Lord like crazy and God’s working on Ryan where he is. And so we get back together and within a few months were engaged and then we’re married and with just I feel like the Lord allowed us to hit the ground running together and you know, we could have gone through our healing together, but he didn’t, that’s not how it worked out. And I’m just so grateful that, you know, we both realize there’s a transformational God who loves us and when we talk about our marriage, we talk about our family and now we talk about the ministry that we do together, the Foundation is a God who never gets tired of redeeming, who never gets tired of saying, oh that that brought shame. That brought guilt. Well, let me exchange that for my radiant cooling because I’ll take it and I’ll give you something. Let’s let’s turn the corner and you know, talked about this. I think we’ve given people a great insight into how you guys married and the way the Lord brought you along. No, this is good. But then, you know, culture, you guys speak a lot about culture, especially the issue of abortion, but a wide variety of things planned parenthood, that the whole enigma there, I’ve often said, you know, from my perspective, just as an observer, um, anybody that has skin in the game, you should first ask the question What motivates them to do and say what they do, right? So applying that to planned parenthood on average, they’re making like $6, an abortion and then they go right to the wall promoting abortion through public schools. The government gives them money to promote abortion, but they are profiting off of abortion. I mean to me, it’s like, Look, the other way, don’t look here, but we’ve got to recognize the simple fact that they make money off of ending the life of a child. They make a lot of money. I mean, they bring in $1.7 billion $2.3 billion $618 million dollars from taxpayers. I mean, why does a $2.3 billion $70 million. But they profit actually primarily from fear and they promote fear. So when you have women facing the unplanned come in, what do they project? They project fear onto the very demographic that they’re always saying women are the future. Women are strong but not when they face the unplanned and that’s the shame of it all. People don’t understand the exploitation that happens in addition to the destruction of the unborn child, but they’re exploiting mothers. They’re exploiting fathers. They are a big business. That’s the right word, exploitation. And it’s like the whole media culture. Everybody looks the other way. We’re not pointing out the biggest glaring conflict of interest that they have. They have the nerve to call them health care and every, you know, they don’t own not even one mammogram machine and all of their other services that they’ve ever even offered to. Women are plummeting because they know that they don’t profit from them the way they do abortion and you’re right. They have the backing of mainstream media and of all of these corporations. Let me let me ask you, you’re biracial. I think a caucasian mother and african american father through the tragedy of rape, is that accurate? That’s that’s correct in that context. When you look, I was, you know, we were in new york and we did in 2019, we did something called a live from new york. Remember our general counsel said they could sue you. I said, well, what will they do first? Well, they’ll send you a letter. I said, okay, let’s wait for the letter. Exactly if comedians don’t get this. And anyway, so we did this event alive from new york and it was to do a live ultrasound. I just felt the Lord laid on my heart, show them the baby. That’s really all you gotta do. Back to your experience, 60% of abortion minded women roughly when they come in and get counseling and see the ultrasound of their baby, They’ll choose life. That’s that’s that’s the data. And so I thought, okay, let’s go to new york, go to Times Square will do it. And we did. And what was so amazing in that moment was hearing the heartbeat and we were set up in like four or five different stations through Times Square. And we had these, they wouldn’t sell us the monitors. You know, the big screens, nobody would abc and clear channel. They were like, yeah, we have plenty of inventory. And then when we gave them, when we gave the date plenty of inventory. Then they said, what’s the subject matter? We said, oh, we want to do a live ultrasound. They went, you know what, I don’t think we have any space available. It was that, so I said that’s a truck in our own jumbotrons so we set up anyway so the you know when it started going and we did that live ultrasound right from the stage there’s a model, a pregnant woman actually was abby johnson. So they were back there and doing it and the heartbeat you heard and I’m on the stage just looking at everybody the by passers and you know the people participating, everybody stopped and then the monitor came up and the uh Sinatra for was saying you know that babies waking up for a nap. The babies yawning you can see the baby yawn in the four D. Ultrasound. And yeah it was breathtaking I mean and the whole place went silent. It was like the lord declaring this is life right there in the heart of the Big Apple. And it was awesome and that’s what we need to do, let’s show them what’s going on. And then that overcomes the lies of the enemy. And the number of abortions are exorbitant. Yes. And this is the point on. So it was either Benjamin Watson or one of the speakers we had um from an african american background obviously and he said more babies were killed then were born alive in New york city to be exact. And which is where planned parenthood is based for every 1000 black babies born alive, 1226 or board in the last reported year from new york Department of Health. And I think that everybody and that’s the highest demographic, Right? The other white babies are 200 or 300 out of 1000. Yes. And hispanic. I mean the hispanic, it’s the black demographic is the only demographic where they’re more induced deaths and births. Hispanics have um about half of that rate. Uh it’s the only demographic like that. You have to look at the historical aspect and you look at the present targeting that happens. And so it’s it’s undeniable when you actually present people with the data and with the information and these powerful stories. But mainstream media isn’t carrying the story in that regard. I mean, here’s the thing and we’ve we’ve done newsletters about this Margaret Sanger, the founder of planned parenthood was about eugenics. Her idea was you get rid of the unfit. You know those that aren’t worthy for life because they’re a drain on the social purse. I mean, that was kind of the language she used in other words, let’s get rid of minority babies because they cost the state too much to take care of that. That was the thought. And then now you see in New york city, her vision is being achieved and nobody is looking at it except the christian community saying, what are we doing, killing our minority Children at a far higher rate than caucasian kids. And nobody has a problem with that. And it’s all wrong regardless of few of skin. The killing of the unborn eggs marginalized is wrong. But I mean you look at it, it’s interesting people say, well, You know, during Margaret Sanger’s days planned parent was far worse. No, actually it’s far worse today because they actually abort over 345,000 human beings of every hue. But like we said, the demographic that is hardest hit in city after city across the country are those black lives. I mean, we talk about things being systemic, that is an example of systemic racism. Because you have the history of the disproportionate targeting and you have the present disproportionate targeting that happened, evidence that they’re fulfilling their vision. It was Market Singer who birthed the negro project, which that was her goal to really rid you know, poor blacks from the scene. And so we talk about the negro project two point oh because it’s exactly what you’re saying, this is all by design, this is happening on purpose and she did that through birth control. They were disproportionate targeting poor black communities through birth control. Well today is now forced sterilizations which people don’t want to talk about Margaret Sanger earlier on actually supported forced sterilizations. But and here we are present day abortion on demand without restrictions without accountability. It’s something, let’s talk a little bit about the group that did the videotaping in the clinics. And you can fill me in on some of these things because I know a bit I don’t I’m not as knowledgeable, perhaps as you two are. But a group went in. I think it was veritas that did some filming kind of undercover journalism is the way they did it. And uh talk to planned parenthood representatives who were willing to sell body parts of aborted baby body parts, which is illegal. But obviously they find a way to do it, describe that and what’s taken place with the young man who led that project, David Daleiden Center for Medical Progress was the name of the organization and they went undercover. They went to these conventions. People don’t realize this. They don’t understand the gravity of the big business that is abortion. I mean, these supposedly unwanted babies, They are wanted for their, you know, their wanted body. And he exposed that. And you know, the first thing that planned parenthood when these these videos started coming out. And of course they were edited. And I love how mainstream media says, well, they’re highly edited. Like you are highly highly edited your mainstream media, you edit your news all the time. But yeah, well, the Center for Medical Progress also provided the raw footage. So people want to watch all the footage and come to their own conclusions. They could and nothing was distorted but planned parents initial response to being exposed was they pretended that their websites were hacked. And so when you went to planned parenthood’s website, it said our site had been hacked by extremists. I mean, this is what a no. When your when your website is hacked, you really can’t write a message on it. It’s typically like the website like anyway, it’s just such a farce. And and and they really were like scurrying like how we’re going to respond to this. Because you know what, what these folks with David and these folks did is they yeah, they swung open this door wide open. See we live in a time where we can no longer say we never knew. We can no longer say we were blind to the fact that not only are they coercing women, but they are profiting off of the baby parts. And when you watch it, some of the I promise you, I could not even get through the footage. I couldn’t. It was so, I mean, they’re counting hands and fingers and they’re they’re explaining that they have to keep them intact because they will receive more money if they are intact. We have to understand as christians that we don’t have the luxury of staying silent about something that is the human injustice of our day and that we are going to be held responsible because it’s no longer going to be that we don’t know these things, the doors are swinging wide open and we’re seeing into what’s happening and we cannot remain silent. We’re going to be held responsible for what we know and what we’ve decided to do with that. And that’s part of what we do through the radiance foundation is equipped people to know how to engage in conversations. A large part of christian’s holding back and not engaging in these, these vital conversations. They don’t know how to start the conversation. They don’t know what to say. They don’t know how to frame the culture shaping issue and that’s part of what we do. That’s our heart too. To equip people to know. Here’s how we can talk about these things. Jim That was an energizing conversation with Ryan and Bethany bomb burger and for our viewers, I hope this has motivated you to do something to come alongside mothers and their pre born babies. Absolutely john. And you know, there are several ways you can directly be involved in saving a baby and helping a mom right now. First donate to focus on the families option ultrasound program, which has saved almost a half a million babies from abortion by providing three D and four D. Ultrasound technology and training to those pregnancy centers across the country free ultrasounds, help women to choose life after seeing their baby and $60 saves a baby’s life through option ultrasound. And with that generous gift or a gift of any amount we’d like to send you a copy of Ryan’s great informative book to help you in the pro life cause it’s called not Equal. And you can get that book and make a donation when you call 1 800 the letter A and the Word family 802-326-459. or check the program notes for the links on behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team. Thanks for joining us today for focus on the family and plan to be with us tomorrow as we once more help you and your family thrive in christ