How do you rebuild trust in your life when trust has been severely broken? We’ve all experienced broken trust in one way or another and it’s hard! People will inevitably disappoint us, but with God, you can move forward. Discover what the Bible has to say on broken trust and so much more in this episode of Candid Conversations with Joyce.
Joyce. I had a situation in my own life where I was shocked by something that someone did and I had instantly broken trust in someone that I thought I was in good hands but learned that I was not. So today in our candid conversation, I would love to talk about broken trust and those things that happened to all. And yet we don’t want to stay in that place of Brokenness. How do we move forward and rebuild trust? Maybe not in that person, but in our life in general, after something like that happens? Well, I think one of the first things to realize is that God does not want you to go through life not trusting anybody, but neither does he want you to totally trust everybody without any reservation. I love in john chapter two, jesus said he did not trust himself to them, speaking about his disciples because he knew the nature of all men. I find that so interesting, he didn’t say, he didn’t trust them. He said he did not trust himself to them. So in other words, I don’t know, I don’t know that it’s wise to trust anybody 100% just because we’re all human because we’re human beings and we’re going to let each other down, we’re gonna disappoint one another. And so there is a trust that belongs only to God. And to be honest, if we start trying to give that to somebody else, God may have to let their weakness show up just to teach you to keep your trust in him. Also one of the things that proverbs talks about all the time that we need to seek and have is discernment and discerning of spirits is actually one of the gifts of the spirit. And I’ve prayed a fair amount in my life for discernment and I plan to continue to do so because you can’t trust everybody. You know, there are people that just aren’t good people and even though they may look like it on the outside or things may go good in the beginning, there’s just that fine balance between you can’t trust everybody but you don’t want to go around not trusting anybody. And so that’s why we need discernment to know. You know, sometimes I’ll just like I’ll get this, maybe maybe I meet somebody new and I like them and we’re becoming friends and you know, then I might just get this little discernment, it kind of comes like a little thing in your heart that you’re not quite sure what it is that, you know, Yeah, you better you better stop telling them so many things about your personal life. You know, our mm like I’ve had my kids tell me sometimes, you know, you really shouldn’t talk about that in front of that person. Yeah, you learn to listen to those little checks. So you learn to listen to those little checks and the thing is I remember from the way I grew up course, I didn’t trust anybody, especially not men. And so I had a very difficult time trusting Dave because I just didn’t really believe that anybody. I was gonna have my best interest in heart in mind. So when you get married and you’re supposed to be submissive to this man that you’ve married and you know, you have a difference of opinion about a decision. It comes down to it. The decision has got to be made. You need to submit to the man. I remember saying to God, how can you expect me to trust him? After what happened to me? And I’ll never forget the Lord said, I’m not asking you to trust him. I’m asking you to trust me with him. That’s huge. Yeah. So we always have to go back to God, but be wise and you just, it’s you’re setting yourself up for, for just pain and failure. If you get it in your head, that this person is never going to hurt me, right? Yeah, no matter who that person is. And and in the situation that I was talking about as we started this conversation, it was one where it was very clear this was not a person that I should continue a relationship with in other situations. It is someone close to us that we need to heal that wound and continue a relationship. So I think what you’re saying is so important that God is not asking us to always have perfect trust in everybody else, but we can have that trust in God alone, right? We had over the course of the years that we’ve had the ministry, we’ve had three different employees steal money from the ministry. They happen to be in a position where they had access to it. And They were like, in all three cases, it was like, you have got to be kidding. Yeah, just a shock. I’m sure. I mean, it was like the last person on earth that you ever thought, yeah, would do something like that. And so the 1st 1st thought, the first thing satan always puts in your head is you just can’t trust anybody. You really just can’t trust anybody. And then you build up walls. But as soon as that happens now, I say no, just because one person is bad. That doesn’t mean everybody’s bad. And I refuse to live my life being suspicious. I want to be wise, but I refuse to be suspicious of everybody and expect them to do the wrong thing. So it’s really kind of, you gotta walk a little fine line with what we’re talking about today. And that’s why I think that discernment is so important. You tell me what you think discernment is discernment is I think a gift. It’s something that some people have more naturally naturally than others. But it is something that the Holy Spirit can equip all of us with. And it is that ability to sense almost between A and B. It’s like discerning do I go this way or this way? And some of these things God will reroute us and keep us going where we want. But sometimes it is just a knowing of this is not the right thing. This is not the right person. This is not the right time, whatever it may be. It’s kind of like driving down the road and the yellow light comes on. Yes, that’s a great way to explain it. You know, a lot of people will stop then, which is what you’re supposed to start doing. But a lot of people will try to hit the beat that yellow light get through before the red light comes. And I wonder how many people have had rex mm hmm. You know, because they didn’t pay attention to the caution. That’s a great description. And I’ve I’ve learned to really listen to that discernment in my life because I can be very, very trusting naturally. And so when I get that feeling, I really have to listen to that because there’s a reason that we have that. Well, the thing that gets me in trouble sometimes is part of the gift that God has given me is openness. You know, I mean, I just I tell everything about myself. I tell everything about Dave. Dave always tells people if you’re gonna be Joyce’s friend, you better get ready to be on tv because she’s going to talk about you now, you know, I won’t if somebody doesn’t want me to. I mean I don’t behave stupidly and just tell things that I shouldn’t tell but I am very open. I mean I think you can probably say that one thing I’m not as phony. I mean I definitely I pretty much tell it the way it is and so because I’m so open sometimes I will tell things around people about my own life that maybe it’s not the wisest person to be talking about in front of like that. So I’m learning and I’ve had a couple of hard lessons even recently that there are a few things that you need to just keep to yourself. But I think that discernment, I think it just means be careful and I wouldn’t, I don’t think it’s fair to anybody if if you get what you think is a caution, I don’t think it’s fair to write them off just because of that feeling. I think you need to wait a little bit to me. It’s saying wait watch pray. You know maybe there’s something going on in that person’s life that you need to pray about that could keep them from doing something more serious later on. And I think a lot of times too we have different kinds of relationships and some relationships are deeper than others sometimes you can I mean I know a couple of people that I honestly believe, I could tell them anything and they would never repeat it and I would not even have to say to them. Be sure you don’t tell anybody that. But then there’s other people that I feel like if I tell them something private, I need to say, I really don’t want you to tell anybody that. And then there’s other people that I pretty much know, no matter what I say, they’re going to talk and tell people. So you have to kind of find out where people are at. And sometimes that caution that you get is just hang on and know a little bit more about what you’re dealing with here. And I just but I really, I really hope and pray that people won’t spend their whole life cynical, distrusting people. I don’t think that’s the way God wants us to live. Yeah. And it’s definitely not a recipe for peace in our lives, the type of joy that God wants us to have. And if trust has been broken, you know, you’ve had a bad example, you’ve had a bad situation, especially if if if it was a long term thing or you know, say a husband cheats on a wife or something like that. It takes time to be restored and you let’s just put it like this, take baby steps back in, but make a decision that you’re not going to live your life. And I want to say this firmly do not live your life, suspicious of everybody out there. But pray for discernment. I mean proverbs says over and over and over. That discernment is so important. Really helpful. Thank you very much. Good talk.