the divine design for marriage

The Divine Design for Marriage

1 Peter 3:1-7

The physiological, psychological, and spiritual differences between men and women are created by God. What did God design marriage to be? What does a good marriage look like?

What is God’s design for the woman in marriage?

God’s Design Is for the Wife to Submit to Her Own Husband

“…Be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear” (1 Peter 3:1-2).

Submission is not inferiority. God has set an order in the home, and to have order, there must be headship. Ruth Graham, the wife of Billy Graham, said, “It is your job to love your husband. It is God’s job to make him good.”

God’s Design Is for the Wife to Have a Gentle and Quiet Spirit

“Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God” (1 Peter 3:3-4).

Peter is simply saying, “Those things are not your adornment.” The KJV words it, “a meek and quiet spirit.” The word meek means “under control.” A woman who has her life under control is a beautiful thing. And quiet does not mean timid; it means “serene.”

God’s Design Is for the Wife to Affirm Her Husband

“For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord” (1 Peter 3:5-6a).

The way they used the word “lord” in that day is akin to our word “sir”—a term of respect. Sarah looked up to Abraham. She spoke to him with respect.


What is God’s design for the man in marriage? 

God’s Design Is for the Husband to be the Head of His Wife

God says, “The head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God” (1 Corinthians 11:3b).

Headship means responsibility. It is not the husband’s job to force his wife into submission. It is his job to lead her, love her, and assume responsibility.

God’s Design Is for the Husband to Provide for His Wife

When God created man, “the LORD God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend and keep it” (Genesis 2:15).

First, Man is to tend the garden. God gave Adam a body with biceps and broad shoulders, and told him, “In the sweat of your face you shall eat bread” (Genesis 3:19a). The husband is to be the provider for the home, if at all possible—providing for the wife’s physical, spiritual, and emotional needs.

God’s Design Is for the Husband to Protect His Wife

Adam was told in Genesis 2:15 not only to tend, but also to keep the garden. The word keep means “to protect against intruders.”

Your chief assignment from God is to make your wife a more radiantly beautiful Christian, to present her as a beautiful creature, “not having any spot or wrinkle or any such thing.” (Read Ephesians 5:25-28.) Do not let anything defile her, and do not let anything happen to her spirit that would scar her character.

God’s Design Is for the Husband to Pastor His Wife

“Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:7).

Do you wonder why your prayers are not being answered? It might be because of your relationship with your wife.

If you love the Lord as you ought, you will love your wife more than you could any other way. You are to say, “As for me and my house, we will serve the LORD” (Joshua 24:15b). 

Known for his evangelistic zeal and uncompromising commitment to the Word of God, Adrian Rogers was one of the greatest preachers, respected Bible teachers, and Christian...

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