build an intimate celebrate the differences between men and women

Build An Intimate Marriage: Celebrate the Differences Between Men and Women

Genesis 2:19-25

When God made Eve, “Adam said: ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh’” (Genesis 2:23a). But not only did Adam like Eve because she was like him; he also liked her because she was not like him.

The differences between male and female unite us. Neither one is better—just different. God made us different, so that He might make us one. Here are some of these gender differences, in generalities:

The Beauty and the Beast

God made Adam stronger than Eve. Why? Because the job God gave to Adam was “to tend and keep” the garden. (See Genesis 2:15.) Adam had the physical frame to protect Eve and work the garden.

The name Eve means “life-giver.” God made her body to nurture, to be gentle. Being weaker than Adam does not mean Eve was inferior to Adam. Porcelain is weaker than steel.

The Romantic and the Mechanic

A man’s job is “to tend and keep” the garden. (See Genesis 2:15.) For that, men need hard outer shells. A woman’s responsibility is to be the homemaker, to love and nurture. These differences are not learned; they are encoded.

The Song of Solomon is a love song. It is highly spiritual, but it’s also very plainly about the relationship between the sexes.

First, Solomon’s lover, the Shulamite woman, talks about him: “By night on my bed I sought the one I love; I sought him, but I did not find him. ‘I will rise now,’ I said, ‘and go about the city; in the streets and in the squares I will seek the one I love’” (Song of Solomon 3:1-2a).

Let’s see how he talks about her: “Behold, you are fair, my love! Behold, you are fair! You have dove’s eyes behind your veil. Your hair is like a flock of goats, going down from Mount Gilead” (Song of Solomon 4:1). He is describing her.

She emotes about romantic feelings; he lists the elements of her beauty. Her attraction is to romance—what she feels; his attraction is to what he sees.

The Radar and the Computer

Men and women process information differently.

There are two hemispheres in your brain. The left hemisphere deals with logic, reasoning, calculation, and so forth. The right deals with emotion, sympathy, and intuition. The male brain primarily uses the left side. The female brain uses both sides.

The left side of the brain is objective and precise. It works like a computer. Men think in a line: “Let’s clear this out, and then we’ll do that, then this…” The right side of the brain is subjective and works more like a radar—taking in everything. Women want all of the details, all at one time.

There is a real difference in the way we look at things, and this is the source of many arguments. Men tend to be more analytical. A woman can be, too, but at the same time, she mixes in emotion.

The Lover and the Achiever

“Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:33).

A woman’s deepest need is to be cherished. A man’s greatest need is to be admired and respected. Women want love and sympathy, and a man gets his joy out of being successful and being recognized as successful.

Which is better? Neither. We are just different.

There are two great supports for a healthy marriage. 1) Your foundation—your love for God and your love for one another. 2) Your flexibility. Aren’t you glad God made husbands and wives different?

Known for his evangelistic zeal and uncompromising commitment to the Word of God, Adrian Rogers was one of the greatest preachers, respected Bible teachers, and Christian...

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